georgetakei:

You know, this once served as the rationale for keeping races from intermarrying—that prejudiced people would act like jerks toward their kids. Times change, but ignorance remains. http://ift.tt/1gVm0nV

Teach your little shitty kids not to bully.

georgetakei:

You know, this once served as the rationale for keeping races from intermarrying—that prejudiced people would act like jerks toward their kids. Times change, but ignorance remains. http://ift.tt/1gVm0nV

Teach your little shitty kids not to bully.

asker

adfinitumblog asked: Hi Dan - Community is my favorite television show and Grantland is one of my favorite websites, so when Grantland posted an article about you today I read it. And also the article Alex Pappademas wrote about you a while ago, I read all of its words. I think I am like you, I am the most brilliant amazing person I know. And also an egomaniac asshole. But I'm only 21 years old. What advice do you have for a 21 year old version of yourself?

danharmon:

Skip the cocaine.  Best case scenario, you become a bad person for a half hour and then need more coke; worst case, you end up homeless or dead.

Don’t judge things that make you jealous and don’t lie about the jealousy.  Just say you wish you had something and figure out if there’s a way to get it.

Good writers hate bad writing but hating bad writing doesn’t make you good.  Writing badly does.

Luck and talent are the same thing, and neither of them have anything to do with your value as a human being.

When someone gives you a compliment, and you tell them they’re wrong, you’re not being humble, you’re being rude.

People attempting to prove you’re a bad person will shut up if you admit it, and they’ll leave you alone if you ask them to help you be better.

You’re going to marry Erin McGathy so try to be up front about that with all the women you date for the next 27 years.

You can’t control the outcome of your actions, so make your actions fulfilling.  That way, if the outcome is shit, you weren’t a total sucker.

Brush your teeth at night and cut down on the carbs.  Gawker and TMZ don’t scour the archives for your only hot photo.

manif3stlove:

lyricsbygreg:

yinx1:

elegantpaws:

Denise leaving for Hillman.

Possibly the most beautiful thing you can say to your child.

People always forget the Like is more powerful than Love. You are supposed to love everyone, but only a select few get liked.

^^Real

Yea. My mama said this to me once.  It changed our relationship.

I like this.

(via mcbeester2)

I want you to know, when it comes to believing in god- I really tried. I really really tried. I tried to believe that there is a god who created each one of us in his own image and likeness, loves us very much and keeps a close eye on things. I really tried to believe that, but I gotta tell you, the longer you live, the more you look around, the more you realize…something is FUCKED-UP. Something is WRONG here. War, disease, death, destruction, hunger, filth, poverty, torture, crime, corruption and the Ice Capades. Something is definitely wrong. This is NOT good work. If this is the best god can do, I am NOT impressed. Results like these do not belong on the resume of a supreme being. This is the kind of shit you’d expect from an office temp with a bad attitude. And just between you and me, in any decently run universe, this guy would have been out on his all-powerful-ass a long time ago.

George Carlin

(via thedragoninmygarage)
tastefullyoffensive:

All this technology is making us antisocial. [via]

tastefullyoffensive:

All this technology is making us antisocial. [via]

thugkitchen:

PUT DOWN THE FUCKING CAN OPENER. Trust me on this shit. Just look at the sugar content in that canned cranberry crap THEN check the serving size. GODDAMN RIGHT?! You and your loved ones deserve better than that red ribbed corn syrup.


HOMEMADE CRANBERRY SAUCE


12 ounces of fresh or frozen whole cranberries (a little over 3 cups)

½ cup water

¼ orange juice (use the juice of one orange or straight outta the carton, your call I don’t give a fuck)

3-4 tablespoons brown sugar 

1 lemon

1 tablespoon bourbon (optional but I already know how you celebrate holidays)


Take a sharp ass knife and cut a sliver of the skin off the lemon about the size and length of your pointer finger. Just try not to get too much of the white part underneath the yellow skin because that shit can be pretty fucking bitter. Add the lemon zest slice and the rest of the ingredients to a medium saucepan and bring them to a gentle simmer over a medium heat. If you like your sauce a little sweeter, add the extra tablespoon of sugar but this bitch will be nice and tart either way. You will hear the cranberries start to burst which might be fucking confusing but it’s fine. Calm your shit. Maybe sip some of that bourbon. Stir every now and then but you want to keep that motherfucker bubbling until most of berries have burst and the sauce is starting to thicken up, about 10-12 minutes. Pull out the piece of lemon zest and let the sauce cool before serving. It will get thicker as it cools. You can cut some more lemon zest and garnish that motherfucker. Make it look all fancy and shit. Your guests will be like “Damn. You see that zest?”


Serves 4-6 as a sauce. Put it on whateverthefuck you want. 

Fucking Thug Kitchen, mother fuckers. Speaking the goddamn truth.

thugkitchen:

PUT DOWN THE FUCKING CAN OPENER. Trust me on this shit. Just look at the sugar content in that canned cranberry crap THEN check the serving size. GODDAMN RIGHT?! You and your loved ones deserve better than that red ribbed corn syrup.

HOMEMADE CRANBERRY SAUCE

12 ounces of fresh or frozen whole cranberries (a little over 3 cups)

½ cup water

¼ orange juice (use the juice of one orange or straight outta the carton, your call I don’t give a fuck)

3-4 tablespoons brown sugar

1 lemon

1 tablespoon bourbon (optional but I already know how you celebrate holidays)

Take a sharp ass knife and cut a sliver of the skin off the lemon about the size and length of your pointer finger. Just try not to get too much of the white part underneath the yellow skin because that shit can be pretty fucking bitter. Add the lemon zest slice and the rest of the ingredients to a medium saucepan and bring them to a gentle simmer over a medium heat. If you like your sauce a little sweeter, add the extra tablespoon of sugar but this bitch will be nice and tart either way. You will hear the cranberries start to burst which might be fucking confusing but it’s fine. Calm your shit. Maybe sip some of that bourbon. Stir every now and then but you want to keep that motherfucker bubbling until most of berries have burst and the sauce is starting to thicken up, about 10-12 minutes. Pull out the piece of lemon zest and let the sauce cool before serving. It will get thicker as it cools. You can cut some more lemon zest and garnish that motherfucker. Make it look all fancy and shit. Your guests will be like “Damn. You see that zest?”

Serves 4-6 as a sauce. Put it on whateverthefuck you want.

Fucking Thug Kitchen, mother fuckers. Speaking the goddamn truth.

fluxmachine:

The Flight feat. Keaton Henson - Dark Corners

A while back this band asked me to make them a music video. Took me over a year (because I had no idea what I was doing) but now it’s finally been released. Anyway, check it out. Pretty spooky. Might wanna watch it somewhere dark.

ft. Sarah Burton and Brad Einstein.

Very cool.

tastefullyoffensive:

Everyday Objects Blended With Simple Sketches by Javier Perez [via]

Previously: Famous Paintings on Bread

Also called: How to Make My Husband Belly Laugh

(via mcbeester2)

Wendy Davis for Texas governor.

Yes.

mcbeester2:

thighabetic:

I very much enjoy this

For my Nephew, debuting Early 2014.  I love him so <3

Hey, I know that kid!

I don’t remember eating all of those Mexican jumping beans, but there they are. Bouncing around in my stomach.

Or maybe I swallowed some unpopped popcorn and my internal temperature is just where it needs to be to make the colonels explode.

Although, it could be a small game of plinko or pinball. After all, I really only feel this sensation while lying down. Maybe it’s gravity causing the little marbles to rattle around behind my belly button.

I know sometimes when you’re browning rice, it pops up. Perhaps I ate some raw rice that’s now cooking in my gut.

Yeah, any of those could explain this fun little sensation that I’ve been feeling for days. And when the new Arcade Fire song “Reflektor” plays.