adfinitumblog asked: Hi Dan - Community is my favorite television show and Grantland is one of my favorite websites, so when Grantland posted an article about you today I read it. And also the article Alex Pappademas wrote about you a while ago, I read all of its words. I think I am like you, I am the most brilliant amazing person I know. And also an egomaniac asshole. But I'm only 21 years old. What advice do you have for a 21 year old version of yourself?
Skip the cocaine. Best case scenario, you become a bad person for a half hour and then need more coke; worst case, you end up homeless or dead.
Don’t judge things that make you jealous and don’t lie about the jealousy. Just say you wish you had something and figure out if there’s a way to get it.
Good writers hate bad writing but hating bad writing doesn’t make you good. Writing badly does.
Luck and talent are the same thing, and neither of them have anything to do with your value as a human being.
When someone gives you a compliment, and you tell them they’re wrong, you’re not being humble, you’re being rude.
People attempting to prove you’re a bad person will shut up if you admit it, and they’ll leave you alone if you ask them to help you be better.
You’re going to marry Erin McGathy so try to be up front about that with all the women you date for the next 27 years.
You can’t control the outcome of your actions, so make your actions fulfilling. That way, if the outcome is shit, you weren’t a total sucker.
Brush your teeth at night and cut down on the carbs. Gawker and TMZ don’t scour the archives for your only hot photo.
I want you to know, when it comes to believing in god- I really tried. I really really tried. I tried to believe that there is a god who created each one of us in his own image and likeness, loves us very much and keeps a close eye on things. I really tried to believe that, but I gotta tell you, the longer you live, the more you look around, the more you realize…something is FUCKED-UP. Something is WRONG here. War, disease, death, destruction, hunger, filth, poverty, torture, crime, corruption and the Ice Capades. Something is definitely wrong. This is NOT good work. If this is the best god can do, I am NOT impressed. Results like these do not belong on the resume of a supreme being. This is the kind of shit you’d expect from an office temp with a bad attitude. And just between you and me, in any decently run universe, this guy would have been out on his all-powerful-ass a long time ago.—
George Carlin(via thedragoninmygarage)
I don’t remember eating all of those Mexican jumping beans, but there they are. Bouncing around in my stomach.
Or maybe I swallowed some unpopped popcorn and my internal temperature is just where it needs to be to make the colonels explode.
Although, it could be a small game of plinko or pinball. After all, I really only feel this sensation while lying down. Maybe it’s gravity causing the little marbles to rattle around behind my belly button.
I know sometimes when you’re browning rice, it pops up. Perhaps I ate some raw rice that’s now cooking in my gut.
Yeah, any of those could explain this fun little sensation that I’ve been feeling for days. And when the new Arcade Fire song “Reflektor” plays.